Stupid action

Pissed with myself for doing stupid thing and when it does not succeed. It is not the first time, not second time but many times. No wonder people say that "love is blind". I remember there was a time when I traveled under heavy rain with no umbrella just to meet him. I even booked a chalet for his birthday celebration. But who knows he would dump me one day after the celebration. -_-"

 There was another incident when my ex dated me out and told me he wanted to go play LAN with friends. I do not game hence he left me alone at the mall. I literally waited and stayed at the same spot. I did not walk around in the mall, did not even go to the washroom despite wanting to go badly that time. Thinking that he would come back for me asap because he knew that I was alone but I was wronged. He indeed played for hours! @.@ stupid right? Just to continue this ex story: I used to go his place often and usually would buy lunch to his place to eat. But guess what? He always ate part of my lunch without knowing I haven't eat anything for the day yet. Not once, but always. Eeish..! And and, he would ask me not to go for dance just to spend more time with him. And I agreed, aiyo eh... Because of bgr not being revealed to my family, I have to lie many times. I had spent a lot of money on cab fare just to rush home many times. And I always reached home with zero pocket money left. For who? Blame who? Myself. Haha...

Today, thinking that I can give him a surprise but i was wronged. Knowing his handphone is dying but I still thought of going down. Board the bus and traveled down. Reached there, called and heard only voicemail. The next moment I know, my mum called me and I had to take cab to rush back to meet my family. Yes, a wasted trip. If it was meeting only just 1minute, I would be happy but my stupid action failed me... Disappointed with myself =(

I am not blaming anyone, but myself...