Should I ?

Night started off pretty happening, everybody wad excited but soon, it became disaster... I am having mixed feelings now. Pissed with the bouncer. Feeling bad for him but at the same time appreciate that he came down and waited despite his tiredness. Feeling unhappy with myself too. Worried that I couldn't be what he wants if I were to be with him one day. I said I willing to try, ready to accept but I am scared if he don't ask the question yet, I might give up soon. I do not want to rush things, rush him but I have no idea how much I can give more. I am trying hard to be what i suppose to be, to look... But what if it's not working? What if he doesn't want to ask that question anymore? Maybe I am just thinking too much. All I know, he's a good guy. Not like what others said about him. Probably he has changed and the others couldn't experience it. I am glad, but at the same time... Sigh... Time to sleep! Goodnight.